In India, I rarely watched movies. I remember watching most of them during my Undergrad with friends. I watched a lot of TV though.. When I left for USA, I was more concerned about living without the TV rather than missing home.
But strangely, I hardly missed the Idiot Box. And after 4 years here, I hardly remember how to operate the remote. Nevertheless, I have watched more movies than ever before. Some on a laptop and others at FunAsia or dollar theater or Cinemark. I liked a few, but was disturbed by most. I have a "movie hangover" every time I watch any movie. There are a very few that possess the escape velocity to escape my mind's gravitational. But most movies stay for atleast a few days. Especilally the gory and violent . I hate any kind of violence. I should say my tolerance to violence at any scale tends to Zero. A Blood shed or a rape scene is a Taboo. I detest certain things very vehemently. Don't know why though. I hate extensive usage of bad words, the hobby-horse talk of every guy "Girls" and gossiping about someone.
But back to the point, I don't like watching movies these days. But right now I am in a spree, movie watching spree. I have watched Agni Nakshatram, Unnal Mudiyum Thambi, Mouna Ragam in 3 weeks(which is pretty high on frequency for me).I intend watching Arangetra Velai next week. Let me see how far this goes...
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Fall in Richardson 2009-2010
At Richardson, on December 20th 2009. Winter should have set in by now and a severe one too. But it was still fall.. Nice fall colors near Archana's house... |
| Same place .. December 20th 2010 |
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Women Think !!
I have always heard of Think and then talk/act. But I always think. Non-stop (Period). Well I am now thinking about how to try using html on this blog + how I know that hardly anyone knows about my blog + how foolish I am to write 2 blogs on the same day + what do I write about next + should I blog from office if I strongly feel about something + I need to type my weekly update for my Manager + what do I write there ? + Why am I doing this instead of my weekly? ..........
So I think non stop. I don't know why.. It is not always relevant to what I am doing. I easily tell myself, do one thing at a time. But I can't, just can't. I was in Dallas a couple of weeks ago, when my friend and sister were talking to me about the exact same thing. They were saying, guys can just sit without thinking about anything. And the three of us were puzzled!!! How the hell can they do that?? They keep ogling at girls, talking about girls, and where ever a conversation starts it ends up with girls and after all this distraction, how can they do it? It is unimaginable for us.
In fact every time I think about that conversation, I have goose bumps or I start feeling jittery about that scary possibility of not thinking about anything. How can that happen? I have tried meditation and yoga. But even while doing those, I hardly go into the "No-Thought Zone". If some one can achieve that, they can be saints. But I see hardly any saintly qualities in these guys. Well, again writing about what I think is right and wrong and saintly qualities is debatable/questionable/bloggable.
So I think non stop. I don't know why.. It is not always relevant to what I am doing. I easily tell myself, do one thing at a time. But I can't, just can't. I was in Dallas a couple of weeks ago, when my friend and sister were talking to me about the exact same thing. They were saying, guys can just sit without thinking about anything. And the three of us were puzzled!!! How the hell can they do that?? They keep ogling at girls, talking about girls, and where ever a conversation starts it ends up with girls and after all this distraction, how can they do it? It is unimaginable for us.
In fact every time I think about that conversation, I have goose bumps or I start feeling jittery about that scary possibility of not thinking about anything. How can that happen? I have tried meditation and yoga. But even while doing those, I hardly go into the "No-Thought Zone". If some one can achieve that, they can be saints. But I see hardly any saintly qualities in these guys. Well, again writing about what I think is right and wrong and saintly qualities is debatable/questionable/bloggable.
Standing up for oneself
Life's most difficult time is when we find that we are not by our side . I realized this, just the other day...
I was walking down the stairs, when my neighbor was boarding the stairs with her dog. I got afraid of that small, cute little pup. I tried hard to run away from this situation. Then she told me, "Dear, Don't be afraid. Trust me he is more scared than you are !!". Well I trusted her (don't know why I did) and waited. The pup saw me, hesitated and its owner said don't be afraid and lifted the pup in her arms and walked past me. I waited watching all this in fear.
End of it, I thought, why the hell am I feeling scared ? I still don't have an answer... But those are some of the many times I see that I lose to myself... I just stop helping myself...
This is how I feel when I procrastinate at work and do time pass (TP). I know I am doing TP and I continue to do it without any guilt. End of day, I wonder "Why did I have to do TP? I could have done my work. Okay, from tomorrow I will refrain myself from doing TP. " And then the action and the thought go in infinite loops at an interval 24 hrs.
So in all, I know the problem. But I need some root-cause analysis on some of them and on others I know the cause. But I never help myself. I never work towards a solution. But why? That needs a R-CA now.
I was walking down the stairs, when my neighbor was boarding the stairs with her dog. I got afraid of that small, cute little pup. I tried hard to run away from this situation. Then she told me, "Dear, Don't be afraid. Trust me he is more scared than you are !!". Well I trusted her (don't know why I did) and waited. The pup saw me, hesitated and its owner said don't be afraid and lifted the pup in her arms and walked past me. I waited watching all this in fear.
End of it, I thought, why the hell am I feeling scared ? I still don't have an answer... But those are some of the many times I see that I lose to myself... I just stop helping myself...
This is how I feel when I procrastinate at work and do time pass (TP). I know I am doing TP and I continue to do it without any guilt. End of day, I wonder "Why did I have to do TP? I could have done my work. Okay, from tomorrow I will refrain myself from doing TP. " And then the action and the thought go in infinite loops at an interval 24 hrs.
So in all, I know the problem. But I need some root-cause analysis on some of them and on others I know the cause. But I never help myself. I never work towards a solution. But why? That needs a R-CA now.
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