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Sunday, January 3, 2010

Standing up for oneself

Life's most difficult time is when we find that we are not by our side . I realized this, just the other day...
I was walking down the stairs, when my neighbor was boarding the stairs with her dog. I got afraid of that small, cute little pup. I tried hard to run away from this situation. Then she told me, "Dear, Don't be afraid. Trust me he is more scared than you are !!". Well I trusted her (don't know why I did) and waited. The pup saw me, hesitated and its owner said don't be afraid and lifted the pup in her arms and walked past me. I waited watching all this in fear.
End of it, I thought, why the hell am I feeling scared ? I still don't have an answer... But those are some of the many times I see that I lose to myself... I just stop helping myself...

This is how I feel when I procrastinate at work and do time pass (TP). I know I am doing TP and I continue to do it without any guilt. End of day, I wonder "Why did I have to do TP? I could have done my work. Okay, from tomorrow I will refrain myself from doing TP. " And then the action and the thought go in infinite loops at an interval 24 hrs.

So in all, I know the problem. But I need some root-cause analysis on some of them and on others I know the cause. But I never help myself. I never work towards a solution. But why? That needs a R-CA now.

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